Updated Thoughts on Sword Art Online (Through Six Episodes) (Spoilers)

I dropped this after six episodes. My first unsuccessful re-watch, one could call it.

I remember back when I first watched this (and put it on-hold) being really hindered by the numerous amount of time skips. Three-ish years later, they still hinder me. Better yet, I absolutely loathe them. Is there any worse way to introduce a story than by skipping the story? Within four episodes, the characters have already been trapped inside the game for a year. Four episodes. One year. That’s an average of 122 days between episodes; wasting precious time to show Kirito’s growth and the other players’ transition into the game of Sword Art Online.

I also found out through this re-watch that I despise every character in Sword Art Online. Everyone’s an archetype. Everyone’s one-sided. No one is complex. The only character that has the chance to be unique is Kirito, and he’s a blatant self-insert. Overpowered as hell, has shounen-hero personality disorder, and the show skips time so much that it never gives the viewer a chance to even watch him change. It’s really easy to find Kirito so complex when you surround him with wooden planks with make-up and clothes.

There was a particular scene I found absolutely hysterical. I didn’t laugh, of course. That would imply I found anything amusing about this show. There was a man named Grimlock. He was married to a woman named Griselda. His guild, at one point, found a rare ring and decided to sell it for money towards the guild by rule of vote. Griselda goes to sell the ring and never returns. By the end of this particular arc, it’s revealed that Grimlock hired assassins to kill his wife while she was out selling the ring. Why did he do this?

“Because she changed. She was no longer the woman I loved.”

…that’s it? Really? Wow. You’re awesome, dude.

And then Asuna, a character who is dumb and is also dumb, simply says:

“That’s not love. That’s possession.”

And Grimlock looks shocked and awed as if this never crossed his mind ever. He doesn’t argue with her. He doesn’t do anything. He just kinda looks like he needs to shit and that’s pretty much it.

Let me wrap this up: An adult, who killed his wife because he didn’t like her becoming “more lively,” was told by a teenager that he was wrong and he took it like it was scripture from the Bible, with little trepidation. Congratulations, Sword Art Online. You’re fucking stupid.

I would say more, but I only made it through six episodes. This is basically what I can say through six episodes, as I can’t recall any other horrifying details from the rest of the series (fortunately). Whatever.

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