Entry #1: Itoshi no Kana (Spoilers, Explicit)

Can you fuck a ghost? Yes, you can.
How can you fuck a ghost? Love.
How do you achieve love? Groping tits.
How do you know when you can grope tits? Just do it.

These questions and more are answered in Itoshi no Kana, a manga for the people.

Luckily for you, I’ve just finished this manga and its material is still fresh in my head. Allow me to tell you about this lovely story with words.

Once upon a time, there’s a guy. His name is… uh, male lead. He loses his job and his home due to… uh, male lead stuff. He is forced to rent out a shabby apartment inhabited by a spirit. This spirit just so happens to be a fun, free-SPIRITED (HAHAHAHA, ‘CAUSE SHE’S A FUCKING GHOST) girl who is beautiful and perfect and not dangerous, despite the fact she committed suicide by cutting her tits off. Whoa, wait, that’s pretty dark. Why’d she do that? Now, now, kids, there’s no need to ask such complicated questions. We’ll answer that in due time.

(You will never find out.)

Upon meeting this ghost, male lead decides that he’s not terrified by ghosts and plays cool. While conversing with her, male lead gets the signal to make porn, so he grabs her tit, only to discover that it didn’t phase through her. After findin out that he can touch her, he immediately “falls in love with her,” and then they fuck.

I’m not joking. They fuck. In the first chapter. After one conversation. Knowing each other for, like, an hour. Love is a beautiful thing (that doesn’t require any work).

If that isn’t enough to sweep you off your feet, know that they not only fuck in chapter one, but in chapter two. And chapter three. And chapter four. And so on. And so on. And so on. These two characters never stop fucking. Necrophiliacs, grab your tissues.

Enough funny business. This manga is ridiculously stupid. Apparently the term “ghost” means “someone who can both follow the ‘rules’ of ghosts and not follow the ‘rules’ of ghosts.” Male lead phases through her multiple times in the series. Except when they fuck. She phases through many other people, except when her tits are grabbed. She can’t be seen by people, except male lead, children, old women, and whenever a cell phone captures her presence. Ummm? She can grab shit, and eat and drink shit, too. And she can feel liquid and leaves and the warmth of the sun and… okay, manga, what the fuck are you doing? It doesn’t even fucking care. It’s smut. It’s just playing the plot however the fuck it pleases. No rhyme or reason. No logic. Just whatever is most convenient for the situation. Bleck. Phooey. Bah humbug.

Speaking of no logic, I just need to spoil a bit. I need to. Please, allow me this one bidding, God.

At the end of the first volume, something happens to the male lead in which he’s about to die because unfortunate happenings. Kana (the ghost), who previously stated that she couldn’t leave the premises earlier in the story (but gets out because why not?) comes to his rescue, but can’t do anything because she just phases through him. Because they aren’t fucking, I guess. So, as male lead is about to die, she grabs onto him and turns into a giant fireball and says “I’LL GIVE MY LIFE TO YOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!” Then male lead doesn’t die and he recovers remarkably quickly and goes home and Kana is there and is fine.

Okay, hold on just one second.

Male lead is about to die. Die. Death. Bad. Nowhere in this story had anything come close to something this dramatic. Everything was hunky-dory, then male lead is faced with death. Oh, no. Kana comes to the rescue by leaving the house, which she couldn’t before, but now can. Yay. After accepting that she couldn’t help him (because they weren’t fucking), she turns into a giant fireball and, I quote, “. . .GIVE MY LIFE TO YOU.” So… she dies, right? She gave her life so that he could live on, right? That’s what would be logical. That would be the appropriate action. Male lead lives. Fine. I can get that. She sacrificed herself for him. Okay. But then male lead enter the home and she’s right there. Fine. Dandy. Unscathed. Not dead dead. < Not a typo, just a bad pun.

Why?

Why is she fine? Why didn’t she pass on? Why even go through with all of that tension and build-up for nothing? What’s the point? Are you going to subject me to more ghost sex? Is that what you’re going to do?

That’s exactly what they did.

The story is blasphemous. The characters are terrible. The writing is atrocious. The art is typically only good during the porn scenes (go figure). The only enjoyment I got out of this was sharing my disgust with my sweet brother. This is the kind of manga I enjoy: the kind that are so awful, while also trying to pass for a serious story, that I can easily rip to shreds.

Personal Score: D+

Critical Score: D-

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