As a normal heterosexual male, I enjoy sex. I enjoy the idea of sex. I enjoy the act of sex. I enjoy partaking in sexual discussions. I enjoy the use of sex in a variety of different situations. However, recently (for a few years), I’ve begun to grow tired of the constant use of sex in the media and in new-age stories. It seems that society has progressed into a stage where sex is becoming less and less of a private matter. The more I encounter it, the more I sigh, roll my eyes, and anticipate seeing it again very soon. Sex sells. It always will. And as long as it does, I will never stop seeing it. I only hope it won’t become more rampant than it already is in this social media age.
As a normal heterosexual male, I enjoy sex. As a cynical asshole, I despise the use of sex as a quick cash-in (a la Ecchi genre) or for fame (a la Paris Hilton/Kim Kardashian). I’m typically very disciplined when it comes to this belief. However, every so often, a cute girl in a seductive pose will grab my attention and… curiosity. Such is the case of why I chose to read Yomeiro Choice, a manga that pushes the boundaries of what can be shown in mainstream entertainment. Cute girls and the promise of full nudity? I may have been in a very suggestive mood, because it seemed right up my
ass alley at the time.
And now, the title of the first chapter:
Y’know that feeling you get when you’re late for class and you walk into a classroom and scan the room for familiar faces, only to realize you stepped into the wrong class? That kind of humorous feeling mixed in with heavy doses of embarrassment and shame? Reading this chapter title made me feel similarly.
Oh, how rude of me. I forgot to explain what exactly this manga is about. It follows a male lead who is friends with multiple cute girls and they live normally. Their lives are turned upside-down, however, when more cute girls come from the future and proclaim that they are the offspring of the male lead and his accompanying female cast. In order to prevent the future cute girls from disappearing, male lead has to choose to mate with one of his female companions. What could possibly go wrong?
As anyone can tell, this is stupid. What many people don’t realize is just how stupid this manga is. I’ll provide some examples.
Waiting for the end to come.
Wishing I had strength to stand.
This is not what I had planned.
It’s hard to let you go.
Reading through this manga was somewhat of a journey. I could have dropped this at any point, and at times, I really wanted to. But I told myself, “You were stupid enough to not listen to your brain and start it. Now finish it.” It’s funny to think of how much this manga panders. In terms of atmosphere, overall mood, character types, the amount of nudity, the sexual puns, the cliches, the ridiculous situations, the lack of any logic, the exaggerated expressions, the way nothing ever progresses despite the situation, and everything else about this manga rolled up into a planet-sized being of complete and total garbage, Yomeiro Choice is the ultimate pandering story. It has no shame. It has no stop button. It will continue to give you exactly what you want in an ecchi, pseudo-romantic story. Again and again until you die.
As the story continues along its path of destruction, if one pays close enough attention, one can see a crack within the surface. A sort of gateway into the inner workings of Yomeiro Choice. The story breaks the fourth wall. Many times. It mentions how the readers desire a story with absurd, sexual situations and fetishes. It knows its a story, a story that shouldn’t be taken seriously in the slightest. In that moment, Yomeiro Choice was the big bully no longer. I had been shown the light at the end of the tunnel. The Death Star that is Yomeiro Choice had a weak point; an opening at the end of the straightforward trench. It was pandering garbage. It was shit and it smelled like exactly that. The cover, the plot, the characters, the art; everything reeked of cheap profit and reckless abandon. They know this. We know this. So why not take it and have fun with it?
Do you like incest? We got that. Tentacle rape? Lots of it. Naked kids? Every guy’s dream. Tits and asses? Why wouldn’t we? And in just about every chapter! We got big tits, small tits, perky tits, and mammoth tits. Bright asses, loli asses, tight asses, and chocolate asses. Travel through time? Past, present, and future. Don’t like Japanese girls? We got a German girl, too. And she even acts like a nazi!
No, she doesn’t. What do you like in your girls? Tsundere? Got it. Shy and quiet? Got it. Pure and innocent? Got it. Kuudere? Got it. Foul-mouthed and risque? Got it. Childish and mischievous? Got it. We even organize them in color… not that you’d be able to tell, what with the black and white pictures and all.
What would an ecchi story be without the oblivious, bland male lead? We got that, too. Not only do we got that, but we have him trained! One of his major traits is running away from his problems! He actually acknowledges that he’s a piece of shit character! Oh, but fret not! He still refuses to engage in sexual activities. That would end the story then and there! We need to squeeze as many zany situations out of these cute girls as possible. And with their futuristic technology, nothing is off limits!
It’s stupid. It’s bad. It’s among the worst manga I’ve ever read. I would’ve dropped this manga after reading the first chapter title if my “curiosity” didn’t urge me to continue. But in a way, it was strangely satisfying. It got more enjoyable as the story went on. Perhaps I had enough screws loose to finally enjoy the nothingness that was entering my cranium. Objectively, it’s absolute, 100% garbage. It just has a snarky bite to go along with it.
The one word I’d choose to describe this manga is “memorable.”
Personal Score: D
Critical Score: F