Entries from the Dead: Penguin Musume♥Heart

penguin musume heart cover

If you took one look at this cover and assumed it’s garbage, know that I felt similarly. That’s why I watched it… wait, no, come bac—

So, I drafted this post initially to start out with some flashback sequence where I go along and describe what I once was and why it motivated me to watch this; also pointing out that every female character is a moe-ified mannequin that is designed to appeal to the modern audience, which current me finds less tolerable than ever. Then I thought, “Y’know, I seem to do that all the time.” Can’t be too sure, though. I don’t recall the general formula for how this series of posts go. Instead, I’ll try out something different.

Remembering this show is kind of like trying to remember a drunken one night stand. Please note that I have never had a one night stand nor do I drink, so just pretend that it’s really hard to remember from someone who has no excuse to forget things. During, the sensation is pleasing—a respite from the cynical expectations of things such as pride or responsibility. Afterwards, the carnal feeling passes, the cognitive functions are restored, and you’re only left to wonder how to achieve “the moment” within the moment. Sometimes life is too frustrating to focus on.

penguin musume heart 1
Probably satirical.

Penguin Musume Heart is… essentially that. As for its actual content, I don’t remember anything. Typically, one is able to remember something, whether through an individual moment via visual or auditory shock, or some dragging generalization of absurdity. Here are the things I remember from this series:

  1. Each episode is 11-12 minutes long.
  2. I didn’t hate the first episode. I eventually hated the second episode.

What’s poignant isn’t so much what the show provided, but what it left, without any coherent reasoning. Why did I not hate the first episode? I don’t remember. Why did I eventually drop the series after episode two? I don’t remember. All my body provides is a hot-and-cold approach to the series’ first two episodes. Almost as though it went as follows:

  • Episode 1: Ahh, that was a nice bit of mindless, colorful nonsense to keep my antiquated tastes on edge. Now we just… uh…
  • Episode 2: …keep going, I guess… Oh, so it’s gonna be much of the same for twenty-something episodes, huh? That’s, uh, that’s alright, I’m gonna… go…
penguin musume heart 2
yaaaaaay I love when girls get naked for no reason.

One other key detail comes to mind as the topic sits in my mind: Penguin Musume Heart was… satirical? I think? A lot of these vapid productions involving ecchi situations in school settings and colorful hair colors have some weird quality that doesn’t make it seem real. Clearly not serious, I’m willing to go a step beyond. They don’t feel real, like the entire production was a joke to fuck with people. Things like Koi Koi 7Eiken, and Akikan!… do any of these even seem real? Like people thought it would be a good idea to produce and put effort into these stories? It’s a mysterious void of anime’s history that confounds me to this day.

So should this be true and this series was, indeed, trying to be satirical, would I continue it now, seeing as I remember basically nothing of it? Probably not. From my own experience in perusing horrid abominations of animation, even series that many claim to be parodies, such as Ore! Twintails, are too rooted in their own clichés to make it seem satirical. They all simply seem like they’re doing exactly what they’re trying to mock. It has to be incredibly over-the-top in order to provide some different tone. Penguin Musume Heart is just a show about girls finding themselves naked and doing moe things. Good for when you’re feeling lazy or shameless.

So in the entirety of this post, how much did I actually talk about the series? Like, six sentences? I guess when I wanted to make this post “different,” I meant I should make it more aimless… like the series itself! Got’cha! It all comes back together in the end. Completely intentional.

Thank you for your time. Have a great day.

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