I would’ve put the full name for this series, but it is far too needlessly long.

Fun fact: I watched two episodes of this series nearly four years ago shortly proceeding the end of the first Summer of Anime. It had been on-hold since then, with little chance of ever being brought out of that decrepit cesspool of a list—until now. Upon finishing the series, I realized I made a grave mistake. This series should’ve never been put on-hold. It should’ve been dropped.

Never have I gazed upon a series so insistent on copying “better” series within its genre to pass off for an engrossing story. I always complain about series being too cliché, but this might be the king of clichés… nay, the God of clichés. For those of you who enjoy series such as Shakugan no Shana, you’re in luck, as Campione! is almost a complete rip-off of it. The characters, the supernatural abilities, the emphasis on pairing the dense pair of balls with multiple archetypes of women; Campione! is a smorgasbord of everything I hate in anime, and everything I feel gives anime as a whole a bad name. If I may give the series any credit, it’s that it goes above and beyond with its clichés, to the point where the women are literally bowing down to the male lead, further cementing the self-insert personality that he possesses. I’m not one to bring up feminism or any sort of social justice in my posts, but if this is the standard in anime, perhaps Campione!’s author should dab a little within the chaos. I wouldn’t recommend Tumblr or Twitter.

If that isn’t enough, the series also takes on Greek Mythology as a crutch to support its otherworldly plot. How much does it follow Greek Mythology? Enough to know the names of various Greek Gods. Aside from that, it strays off onto a path of its own accord, making up various stories about the Mythology as if they were slanderous lies. I’m not joking; one episode has the main character claim that the stories were changed to suit the benefit of the antagonist he was going up against. I was already leery of the plot before that point, but I believe it was there when I decided the plot was complete nonsense. It’s a gross reskin of a genuinely interesting collection of ancient stories to suit the fantasies of preteen ecchi soldiers.

Do you enjoy Shinmai Maou no Testament? If so, did you enjoy it for the lewd acts? You’re in so much luck today! Campione! features a male lead gaining superpowers by making out with various women! That’s right, when all seems lost, the male lead takes a woman and locks lips in order to gain “information” on the bad guy to become more powerful. Kind of like that episode of Teen Titans highlighting Starfire’s origins, but with added stupidity. This doesn’t really serve any purpose other than to further showcase how stupid the series is, but it’s fun to explain things in detail.

Two things save this series from a rock bottom score of 1/10. First is Mariya, one of the female archetypes who takes on the role of healer and innocent priestess. She’s very, very clearly an archetype and joins in the harem that the male lead gathers because he’s such a sweet, nice boy, but she’s cute. I like her realistic design and is less tedious as a character than the rest. The second thing is animation and design. As horrible as this anime is, it doesn’t look horrible. Fight scenes are flashy and characters are cute, despite how rotten it all is on the inside. I can’t disregard this aspect of the anime completely as it did alleviate some of the frustration of watching the series. Fan service is fan service. The prettier it is, the better.

There’s so little good with this series that I can’t find any proper way to wrap up this entry. It’s just bad… very, very bad. If one can find any amusement within this series, than they could probably tolerate anything, aside from School Days, anyway. Campione!, to me, is a symbol of everything that is wrong with the anime industry in recent years. And to think, the light novel that this anime was adapted from is still going to this day. I guess you can sell sex no matter how blatant it seems.

Personal Score: D-

Critical Score: D-

The rating for this title and all others can be found on MyAnimeList.