WHY MUST WE FIGHT LIKE THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!??!
KILLING OTHER HUMAN BEINGS IS BAD. DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT’S THAT? WE’RE BEING ACTIVELY HUNTED BY OTHER “TAKERS” THAT WANT TO STEAL OUR “LIFE POINTS” AWAY FROM US?!?!?!? THAT’S SO AWFUL!!!!
DON’T WORRY!!! MY NEE-SAN IS THE STRONGEST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE FOR SOME REASON!!!! AND I’M USELESS BECAUSE I HAVE THE PENIS??????????????????
NEE-SAN NO!!! DON’T KILL THE PEOPLE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL US!!! THAT’S……….
NEE-SAN?!?!?! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL THE PEOPLE TRYING TO KILL US?!!!? MY NEE-SAN WOULDN’T KILL PEOPLE TO PROTECT US!!!!!!!!!! YOU’RE NOT THE REAL NEE-SAN!!!!!!!! I HATE YOUOUOUOUOUO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Will this asshole ever shut the fuck up? The number one reason I decided to drop this shit: self-righteous male protagonist is whinier than an infant with a wedgie, and constantly disregards what would be the logical thing to do TO SECURE HIS SAFETY because it’s “wrong.”
Killing people is bad. It doesn’t matter what kind of torture they put us through. It doesn’t matter if it’s only one of two ways (and the easier way, as proven by those who tried to kill them) to KEEP US ALIVE AND AWAY FROM HARM. We are NOT savages. Killing people is icky. Our pride as human beings is stronger than that.
Y’know that snooty character who talks down to everyone about their ideals and beliefs like they’re garbage? That character that everyone wishes was dead? That’s the male protagonist of this story, except he’s “pure-hearted and innocent.” Fuck him. I wish he was dead. God damn idiot.
That’s just the first layer, though. The first layer?! All that was just the first layer?! Indeed. That one character was so bad it received it’s very own spotlight of shame. This entire story is bad. I’ll scratch it all off bit by bit. I wouldn’t recommend sniffing it afterwards.
The story is constantly trying to shove this “HUMANITY IS DEEPER THAN MINDLESS KILLING” shit at the reader like it’s supposed to be profound. Humans shouldn’t kill other humans like it’s nothing. Humans are better than that.
It’s okay if they kill other creatures, though. Fuck them.
They are constantly doing this. Chapter after screeching chapter. Especially after the base plot is set up. Vomiting big words and pseudo-philosophical jargon like they’re Aristotle. Why is this happening? Why are we doing this? What is the meaning of everything? Is killing other humans the right thing to do? Should we kill these incredibly attractive chicks with giant swords and brightly-colored panties because they’re trying to kill us? Is killing them last better than killing them first? Does Nee-san want my dick? (Genuine concern… not noticed by the male protagonist.)
I don’t care. I never cared. At all.
Yes, stupid. Stop talking.
That’s the second layer of this poisonous cake. Or onion. Whatever. Let’s recap in case my frenzied ranting has lost you:
First layer: Horribly whiny male protagonist with the I.Q. of -450,000 thinks with his heart instead of the black hole within his tiny cranium.
Second layer: 2deep4u plot devices that bombard the reader upon every “NEE-SAN’S ABOUT TO KILL THIS BITCH, BUT THEN-” Horribly, horribly preachy. And downright stupid with the plot that Re:Birth has set up for itself.
Now then, the third layer: Nee-san. She’s stronger than everyone. She’s invincible. She’s God. She doesn’t train. She doesn’t practice. She doesn’t do shit to improve her skill. When danger approaches, she just fucking learns shit on the fly like it’s nothing. Y’know what’s good for suspense? Knowing that no matter what happens, Nee-san will settle everything in the end because she always does. Truly, truly fantastic. I am not being sarcastic at all. Not. One. Fucking. Bit. I love when 99.999999999999999999999% of action shounen titles pull this shit.
God damn it.
I hope you’re hungry. It’s time for the fourth layer: TakerNet. What the hell is “TakerNet?” TakerNet is an online messageboard that Takers go to to brag about how many people they’ve killed and discuss hidden abilities they’ve encountered. Better yet, when an individual logs into TakerNet, the website magically tells them their skill level, hidden abilities, their available Life Points, and whatever else they care to learn about themselves.
I really hope that you, the person who is reading this right now, can tell me why that last paragraph is hilariously stupid. It’s not gonna stop me from going over it, but it’s nice to get some outside input.
How does this website know who’s logging in? How does this website know ANYTHING about ANY ONE of these people? Why is this website so in-depth with “hidden abilities?” Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of “hidden?”
Not to mention, Takers log into this site and TALK ABOUT MURDERING PEOPLE.
RING RING RING
911 OPERATOR: HELLO. HOW CAN I BE OF ASSISTANCE?
ME: DUDE. YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT THIS WEBSITE CALLED TAKERNET. THESE GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT THEY JUST KILLED MY FRIEND RODRIGUEZ BY INSERTING A MACHETE INTO HIS ASSHOLE. CAN I GET POLICE TO INVESTIGATE THIS?
911 OPERATOR: WHAT YOU JUST SAID SOUNDS KIND OF STUPID.
ME: I KNOW, BUT I’M BEING SERIOUS, DESPITE THE CAPITALIZATION.
911 OPERATOR: I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
ME: OK TY ❤
911 OPERATOR: WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT.
800,000 calls concerning TakerNet later.
ANYONE WITH A BRAIN AND POLICE BADGE: GEE, I THINK WE SHOULD PROBABLY LOOK INTO THIS “TAKERNET” THING.
I’m so full. I can’t eat this whole cake/onion by myself.
Okay, layer five: Blood and tits. Fan service. Fan service everywhere. Not just with skin, but the lack of skin, too. Death and tits peruse nearly every bloody scene. It’s almost akin to Freezing, which was also complete shit that made no sense. Y’know what else paraded this manga like a virus? Disturbed facial expressions. Like, looks of horror, trauma, near-death experiences, shock, disgust, srs biznss, etc. Lots of shading around the upper face to make the eyes stand out. And, well, removing one of the eyes altogether. It just looks waaaaaaay too edgy for me to take seriously… not that I did in the first place, but it didn’t help. Otherwise, the art was pretty typical.
Yes, stupid. Stop talking.
Okay. I’ve cooled off. This was just something I wanted to get off my fingertips. It was a frustrating battle, but I made a tactical retreat to retain enough of my sanity to continue forward through a different path. Re:Birth is just… wow. Don’t fucking read it. Ever.