Fuck.

Well, uh, yeah. This is an anime where everything about it stabs me in the throat with how ridiculously disgusting everything about it is. The mere existence of this waste of a one-cour series goes out of its way to destroy every fiber of logic hidden under lock in key inside my head. This is not only one of the worst anime of the year (if not the worst), it’s one of the worst anime I’ve ever seen in my life. And why am I so harsh on this particular anime? Because it’s a sequel. And because it’s a sequel, I expect the sequel to fix some of the things that the original series had done wrong. It took everything the first season did right and took them in the opposite direction. Off an airplane. Onto a spiky mountain. On fire. In Hell.

First off, the plot. Oh, the fucking plot. Here’s the plot: Ichika has five women swooning after him. All of their personalities are either stupid or never explored because what is character development? In addition to these garbage characters are two new characters whom are subsequently added to his harem later on in the show, though one of them seems more like a harem pimp than a harem participant. While this anime is an utter waste, I will give credit to the minimal attention and development that is given to one of the new characters. She’s shy, she’s lonely, and most of all, she feels inferior to her older sister, who is way, way more bizarre and suggestively minded. I’m not sure why you would feel inferior to that behavior. Regardless, the whole arc surrounding her actually casued me to care. Me? Care? Fuck. That’s impressive. It lasted two episodes, then it was back to fucking drooling over a mindless, unlikable monkey of a main character.

And the worst thing about the plot? IT’S THE SAME FUCKING PLOT AS THE FIRST. IT IS! I HAVE PROOF! Let me explain: The first season introduced Ichika and what’s her tits, his childhood friend. It told about how Ichika is mysteriously the only person who can pilot an IS. By the way, that’s looked into for a whopping eight seconds, then no one ever questions it ever again. Anyway, throughout the first season, it’s a combination of building Ichika’s harem, while throwing in fan service and harem bait in between, while sprinkling it with actual plot as each new character is introduced. Then it ends with some BIG plot that seems EARTH SHATTERINGLY IMPORTANT, when in reality, it’s just the creator of the IS being a piece of shit to society. It ends with a (somewhat) touching moment between Ichika and his childhood tits. The end.

The second season drives right in as if everything was hunky dory. Seeing as Ichika’s harem is already large enough, the series figured it was time to slow down the harem building and pump-up the unneeded fan service and harem bait. This is essentially 75% of the series, while the other 20% is the introduction of Blue Bitch and Blue Bitch’s Imouto and the remaining 5% is based on actual plot. This continues on until the final one and a half episodes (JUST LIKE THE FIRST SEASON) when some unnamed bad guys come on the scene and fuck shit up. Ichika almost dies (JUST LIKE IN THE FIRST SEASON) and sees a vision of his sister or something and then he comes back to life (This time, though, it’s shown off-screen; but regardless, JUST LIKE IN THE FIRST SEASON) and beats the bad guys (or whatever). It’s then revealed that the whole point behind these bad guys is because the creator of IS likes fucking shit up (JUST LIKE IN THE FIRST SEASON). With two minutes to spare, unlike the first season (finally), instead of giving some alone time between Ichika and one of his harem squad, the anime decides to show a high-larious hot springs scene where they conveniently get everybody naked in the same pool. Cute screams ensue and all of my tears are rapidly washing down my face for ever giving this show a chance. Hooray.

Characters? Pfft. No. I’ll describe ’em to you in a cool way.

Ichika: Fuck you.

Childhood Friend #One: No attention necessary as she’s not completely brainless.

Childhood Friend #Dos: Looks Hispanic, yet claims she’s Chinese. Don’t believe her. She’s brainless, so lots of harem bait for her.

British EH, WOT: Perhaps the most brainless. Sucks at cooking. Gets a plot device because of her uselessness.

Charlotte: A character who seems to be a fan favorite. She doesn’t seem brainless, but she’s generic. I don’t see why she’s a fan favorite.

Gray-Haired German Pirate: My favorite character when she was introduced in the first season. She turned into Fuck you, England at the end of the first season and all throughout the second. Fuck her.

Blue Bitch: She has blue hair. She also likes to molest Ichika for no God damn reason. She seems to be infatuated with him… because she’s a girl and he’s a boy. Fuck logic.

Blue Bitch’s Imouto: Best character in the series. If a third season comes out, they will probably destroy her, so I told myself not to become fond of her. Weird fuckin’ hairstyle, though.

All the Bad Guys: No background, so lolnoonecares.

Everyone else: Was there any other characters?

The art has improved from the first season. Of course it has. The first season was 2011; this is 2013. Why the fuck wouldn’t it be better? I will say this, though, the CGI for the IS armor is still clunky and awkward at points, so I feel as though the animators were like “HEY, LET’S FOCUS ON BREASTSTSTSTS INSTEAD OF ACTION, OKAY? K. COOL.” The character designs were memorable. Of course they’re memorable, this is a harem. Everybody gotta look-a different, buddy. There’s samurai and loli and kind girl and hueless pirate and two blue action figures and… uh… British barbie? Everything about this art is typical of the times. Typical stellar animation because fan service always gotta be top form. Typical attractive character design because harems always gotta be purty. Typical crappy CGI because no one cares. However, I will say one thing: there was a particular scene where Ichika and Childhood friend #1 were walking together down a dark street and her fucking hair was twitching like it wanted to get off of her head. It was hysterical. Truly emmy-worthy.

Sound? Yeah, that.

I would say what I think of this anime, but I think my overall tone makes it fairly clear. This anime is awful. Not only does it give nothing to the anime whatsoever, but it actually regresses into a worse anime. The plot is almost identical, the characters act the same (or all revert to a typical harem-y fashion), the comedy isn’t funny (DEAR GOD IS IT NOT FUNNY), and when a plot actually arises, no one cares, because there was so little build-up, so little background, so little foreshadowing. It just seems like a ploy to get the anime to the next episode. Either that, or it tries to pass itself off as not a “complete waste of time.” I know better. I’ve seen the first season and the first season actually gave more to its characters than the second season ever cared to give them. So, if you like seeing anime characters in animal outfits, you should look forward to episode all of them.