The Transformers: The Movie Review

the transformers the movie 1

Yes, it’s seriously called that.

I try not to exaggerate when I say this, but this is one of the first films I ever remember watching, in a dark room accompanied by my cousin attempting not to fall asleep. At such a young age, I was amazed at all the action scenes, the robo-transformations, and the rock n’ roll soundtrack. Despite this initial introduction, I have seen this film very few times… maybe twice in my life? Three times? All of those times came at a very young age, likely at six or seven-years-old. Last night, I watched it again after nearly twenty years. How does it hold up? Continue reading “The Transformers: The Movie Review”

A Very Loud Noisemaker Killed “A Quiet Place”: My Brain

a quiet place 5

Ironically enough, in a recent post for this blog I admitted that I had an issue with mocking subject matter in a way that made me sound elitist and narcissistic. Approximately a week later, I have found a subject that brought out once again that traditional style of ranting to myself for personal pleasure; a purely emotional response filled with rage, frustration, and a negative merriment reminiscent of my old persona. Once again, I must fight the urge to outright mock the living hell out of a film so bad in my eyes that I come across as a shit-throwing bigot for kicks. This in mind, I wish to rationally and calmly (relative term) explain why I think this film is so astonishingly awful. To do this, I have to spoil large portions of the film, so let it be known that extremely large spoilers lie ahead. Continue reading “A Very Loud Noisemaker Killed “A Quiet Place”: My Brain”

Top 10 Highest Quality SiIvaGunner Rips (2018 Edition)


(Edit: In early January of 2019, SiIvaGunner’s Youtube channel was terminated by the site. All of the videos within this list have since become unavailable. If one wishes to listen to the accompanying rips, one will have to search Youtube in the hopes an archive exists.)

(Edit #2: The channel came back (circa February 28th). I’m gonna go ahead and leave these edits up here in case it goes down again.)

It’s that time of year. Time to enjoy some high quality rips courtesy of our friendly internet-neighbor, SiIvaGunner. Continue reading “Top 10 Highest Quality SiIvaGunner Rips (2018 Edition)”

Day Two: Big Fan (MotM 2017)


Big Fan is, for better or worse, a one-man show.

A character study through the eyes of a troubled soul.

Football as a catalyst for the obsessive tendencies of a man.


Patton Oswalt is that one big fan.

His delivery makes the film worth the trip.

Though the trip itself has very few curves and slips.


Something of a “Dark-mind” kind of story.

With nothing in the vein of uproariously gory.

A psychological platter of suspense and build-up.

If not for the comedy, it all seems corrupt.


Another provider of depth and despair.

Some may require some point of repair.

Giddiness in place, with a tendency to mock.

The audience may further find solace in a rock.


Synopsis only provides half of the battle.

The words and clues underneath could make bones rattle.

Revealing society’s darker picture.

Never foretold in any sort of scripture.

Coddled and trained, with success surrounding.

Growing up right may be quite astounding.

Holding on to the one pleasurable light.

Playing in the darkness just wouldn’t be right.


While entertaining to a fault.

The number of themes is hardly assault.

A single focus, through and through.

One person’s attention may not subdue.

Oswalt himself has a striking vigor.

Compared to the rest, is the only trigger.


Perhaps there’s a message to the football decision.

That groups and the cliques make a clouded division.

Things rowdy and tough one man’s pride can endure.

Encourage the warmth of a strange man’s contour.

Standing so proud: one for all and no more.

Precisely the force which makes one so poor.


Structure be praised, it will hold all and more.

The time it takes is a perfect score.

Tension and horror roam to the backfield.

Sizing you up as your mind slips to yield.

It plays with your heart, it plays with your mind.

All this, of course, if you’d be so kind.


The end is a bang.

The end is a splash.

Without any slang.

It comes off as rash.

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.

However this scores is for you to abuse.


Final Score: 7/10

The rating for all other films can be found on my IMDb account.

For more, check out the March of the Movies Archive!

Top 10 Highest Quality SiIvaGunner Rips (2017 Edition)


(Edit: In early January of 2019, SiIvaGunner’s Youtube channel was terminated by the site. All of the videos within this list have since become unavailable. If one wishes to listen to the accompanying rips, one will have to search Youtube in the hopes an archive exists.)

(Edit #2: The channel came back (circa February 28th). I’m gonna go ahead and leave these edits up here in case it goes down again.)

Some time ago, I stumbled upon some high quality rips. I liked them so much that I found myself listening to tens of different rips in a single day out of curiosity. The quality of these rips were consistently high-quality, but some stuck out for being so high-quality that the heavens above became the heavens parallel to the feet of the rip. Why not accentuate my strange nature by making a strange Top 10 list?

For some context, a “high quality rip” is a remix of a particular (usually) video game track that employs one (or an assortment) of references to various things, or internet memes. One could consider the content a joke, though many tracks of the highest quality often challenge the original in creativity or composition. Much like the essence of a remix in general. This dedication to improving the music is what makes me so enamored with SiIvaGunner’s works, which consists of a team of “rippers” providing multiple uploads a day.

I labeled this the “2017 Edition” because of how few rips I’ve heard from the channel. I’ve listened to a couple hundred at the most, which seems like a lot before looking at the number of uploads. SiIvaGunner has uploaded nearly 5,000 rips! That’s a lotta rips! And they’re still going! That being the case, this list will become a yearly thing, constantly changing and reworking the tracks that made the last high quality track feel so mediocre. There’s no guarantee the lists will look all that different with each year, but with as many rips being uploaded every day—along with all the rips I still have yet to listen to—the definitiveness of this list only goes so far as a “Beginner’s Guide,” if you will. I’m judging these tracks primarily by personal enjoyment, though I did try and consider the impressiveness of the rip’s additions to the original track. I’d advise you, the reader, to brace yourself. The quality of these rips will be exquisite.

#10: Resort Island (Beta Mix) – Sonic R

I don’t like Adam Levine. I don’t like Maroon 5. There are very few songs by them that I care to listen to. But this rip? This rip makes him and his music about 800 times more bearable. The original song is so slow; this speed-up makes the track an absolute joy to dance around to. The energy, the beat, and the upbeat execution makes this a very bubbly and infectious rip. I also really enjoy the original Resort Island track, so that helps, too.

#9: Re-Tail – Animal Crossing: New Leaf

I don’t have a whole lot of experience with New Leaf, so this track in particular didn’t ring very familiar with me. When first listening to it, I couldn’t even place what was playing in the background until the very prominent chorus. I didn’t think much of it, but I ended up listening to it over and over and over again, until I found myself amazed at how well the tracks mix together. It’s a very subtle addition, but the dings and bells boost the added track to a level of naive charm that the original version couldn’t quite muster. Sometimes the more simple combinations make the best of creations. Like peanut butter and chocolate.

#8: Final Bowser Battle – Super Mario Galaxy 2

The biggest drawback to this track is that it’s too short. Only a minute and a half of P U R E  M E M E  E X P L O S I O N. The original track is epic enough, if not a little lacking in gusto, but the additions… oh, how absolutely splendid. There are so many to list off I couldn’t do so without wanting to ruin the experience for first-time listeners. It’s entirely possible the right person would be horribly turned off by this. If you’re not the right person, be proud of your wrongness.

#7: Unknown from M.E. (OST Version) – Sonic Adventure

Among SiIvaGunner’s most popular rips, this track is more funny than catchy. For those aware of the franchise, the original Unknown from M.E. has lyrics, something the team took full advantage of. The actual track is barely edited, but the audio of the lyrics has been completely reworded to say the most fucked up things one could imagine. The result is a four and a half minute Youtube Poop of the highest quality. Be wary, however, as the dialogue is fast and hard, much like Knuckles himself. You gotta be Sonic speed fast to catch every high quality joke.

#6: Ai no Uta – Super Smash Bros. Brawl

I don’t care if they’re a joke! Linkin Park’s first two albums are amazing, despite how immensely angsty they are. I’m also biased, as I grew up listening to the albums on a near-daily basis. Regardless, this rip features the calming and soothing Ai no Uta as a backdrop to the (slightly slowed) serenades of one Chester Bennington roaring out the lyrics to his song Crawling. The result is a strangely cathartic mass of tranquility. It may just be from my twisted tastes, but listening to Bennington’s soft voice cooing the lines in-between the chorus with benign background tunes brings me to a state of blissful nothingness. It speaks to me, almost literally, in a way most rips don’t. It’s almost addicting. I can feel the essence crawling within.

#5: DK Rap (Gorilla Version) – Donkey Kong 64

Another of SiIvaGunner’s most popular uploads, this is essentially their version of Unknown from M.E. with their patented ripping expertise. Also memes. One of the channel’s most prevalent and popular memes come from the constant revisitation of the “DK Rap” intro to Donkey Kong 64. What makes this track better than the rest is the fantastic implementation of Gorillaz’s (Get the joke?) Feel Good Inc., which is a great song in and of itself. The other versions may be funnier or more crammed with other memes, but this one is pleasant to listen to on top of it. And it fits. Oh, so very well.

#4: Escape from the City (Unseen Vocal Mix) – Sonic Adventure 2

It’s. So. Fucking. Catchy. The original track is soul-crushingly catchy enough, but this?! This is too much. The smooth, jazzy interpretation adds a different spin that is absolutely perfect for the upbeat and carefree tone of most Sonic games. The parallel between the added song and the speed at which the vocals are sung match as if the song were real, a real, genuine track from sir Stevie Wonder (Get the joke?). More than anything, though, is that the rip is so. Fucking. Catchy.

#3: Ballad of the Goddess – The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Skyward Sword had a fantastic soundtrack. No one really refutes that. Its epicness and sense of adventure makes the game more amazing than, perhaps, it really is. How do we add to this? Great vocals from a lovely young female singer! This is the greatest pairing I never knew I wanted. The rip is among the channel’s least meme-y. Its seriousness almost makes people wonder if the track was really meant to be a joke, or, ahem, “high quality.” It sounds beautiful, with the echoes of the singer blending marvelously with the sweeps of music of the ballad behind her. I love it for the subtle power that arises as it continues. It makes the already captivating track all the more impactful.

#2: Windy Hill – Zone 1 (Beta Mix) – Sonic Lost World

Remember when I said Final Bowser Battle was a meme explosion? This track may as well be the response: a P U R E  M E M E  A P O C A L Y P S E. Good length. Great application of everything added. And the last twenty seconds of the rip? No joke: gives me chills. That ending made me love this rip on first listen, and a clear contender for favorite rip ever. Should the 2018 list have many new faces, this is one rip that will likely never leave the Top 5. Everything about it is the very essence of SiIvaGunner and the channel’s purpose—high quality rips of the highest caliber.

#1: Creative Exercise – Mario Paint

The strangest thing about this rip… how does the original track fit so god damn well with a Swedish dude saying “Who’s been drawing dicks?!” in a funny voice? I mean, really, honestly? The track itself is fairly straightforward and not very meme-y, but it manages to sound astoundingly good. The highest quality sound to ever come from a rip. It’s absolutely addicting, a rip equivalent to that of cocaine. And it shows; once again, it’s among the channel’s most popular videos. For whatever reason, the planet’s aligned and made this track in particular the greatest sounding dick joke of all time. The kicker? I don’t even like the original track that much. To heighten the quality that much with so little, that alone makes this rip the highest quality of all.