The Art of Anime Pretentiousness

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Welcome to the anime community. Your opinions are garbage. Why? Allow me to fill out four or five paragraphs of why that is, but first I will explain to you exactly what it means to be a “casual.” First of all,

a. person who is not nuanced within the proper context of Japanese folklore
b. only enjoys shows on a surface level, disallowing selection of art forms that present a greater conflict of sociological or psychological proportions to flourish
b. i. person does so because they are not intelligently capable enough to comprehend or too lazy to care for enlightenment
c. (addendum – 17/07/05; 13:31 P.M.) roped into anime by casual-istic titles such as Boku no Hero Academia or Dungeon ni Deai wo Motomeru no wa Machigatteiru Darou ka, distilling the expectations of the medium into surface-level appeal
d. believes the medium should cater to their whims (lmao)

Get the gist? Good. Let’s talk pretentiousness in anime. (more…)

Does Metroid Fusion Need a Remake?

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In September of last year, Metroid: Samus Returns was released to the glee of Metroid fans everywhere. A remake of a game not prevalent in the minds of even diehard fans, the original Metroid II for the Game Boy is, from what I can gather, not a great game, regardless. Part of the reason for this, however, is that they tried to fit a Metroid-esque style of game, dedicated to atmosphere, (to some extent) cinematics, and fast-paced action, on an early-days handheld system that was neither powerful nor pretty. To remake this game in a day and age where handheld games are much more grandiose than they were twenty years ago, I was all for it. Convenient enough that it released a year after the infamous AM2R fan game hit the internet, but that only served to further my excitement in comparing the two games when Samus Returns inevitably landed in my lap. (more…)

A Very Loud Noisemaker Killed “A Quiet Place”: My Brain

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Ironically enough, in a recent post for this blog I admitted that I had an issue with mocking subject matter in a way that made me sound elitist and narcissistic. Approximately a week later, I have found a subject that brought out once again that traditional style of ranting to myself for personal pleasure; a purely emotional response filled with rage, frustration, and a negative merriment reminiscent of my old persona. Once again, I must fight the urge to outright mock the living hell out of a film so bad in my eyes that I come across as a shit-throwing bigot for kicks. This in mind, I wish to rationally and calmly (relative term) explain why I think this film is so astonishingly awful. To do this, I have to spoil large portions of the film, so let it be known that extremely large spoilers lie ahead. (more…)

Day Two: Paths of Glory (MotM 2018)

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I have seen two Stanley Kubrick films until just now: The Shining and Full Metal Jacket. With the former, I blame the writing style of Stephen King primarily for why I feel it doesn’t live up to the expectations set by fans and critics alike, assuming Kubrick employed much of King’s style. With the latter, I enjoyed it more, but still felt myself doubting this supposed “Legendary director” status that Kubrick has made for himself through cinematic history, wondering if, perhaps, I just don’t “get it.” I saw both of these films roughly a year ago, and for the second day of the 2018 March, I watched a third film from this legendary director. He seems far more legendary to me now. (more…)

“The Objectively Subjective Objective” — A Reassessment

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Four months ago, I spit out a somewhat heavy topic titled “The Objectively Subjective Objective.” With this piece, I tried to elaborate upon the system with which I judge anime and visual media in general. Claims such as denying that “theories and opinions cannot be objective” and that if everything were subjective there would be no point in critiquing anything fill the page with an almost condescending air of frustration and bullheadedness. That post was unplanned, and writing through it, a large portion of the arguments I made were on the spot, without the sanction of some measure of forethought. In recent weeks, I’ve found myself thinking about the ways in which certain products can be both good and bad, and have found a comfortable acceptance with how nothing is generally concrete—that the things that can be determined as good or bad in art is purely subjective.

It’s taken some number of years, but I’m ready to forgo the “objective” discipline. (more…)

Ranking the Oscars 2018 Best Picture Candidates

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Two things to clarify:

  1. I have not seen all films nominated—only five of nine. This post will only chronicle those five. I may see Get Out and Call Me By Your Name at some point, and if so, I may edit this list. But for now, it will only be a top five.
  2. I don’t normally care for Award ceremonies and the like, but a friend of mine seems excited for them, so I can’t help but share her enthusiasm. I also enjoy sharing my opinion.

Something else which is interesting to note (perhaps solely to me) is that none of the films I’ve seen that were nominated for the top award garnered more than an 8.5 from me, when three of last year’s nominees received nines (Arrival, Moonlight, La La Land). I could say this year is a down year for top pictures, but I’ve liked those that I’ve seen well enough to feel they should be considered, though are perhaps overrated in the big picture. Without further filibuster, my personal rankings for the five nominations I’ve seen. (more…)

Harry Potter’s Final Scene Destroyed Me

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(Apologies for the slightly-clickbait title.)

Through the last month of two, I watched the entire Harry Potter franchise for the first time with my brother. Only Prisoner of Azkaban and Order of the Phoenix stood as films I’d consider above average; indeed, I did not care for this series. The writing always had this simplicity to it that was almost mocking of how dark and serious its tone wanted to be after the second film, along with random twists to add to the flavor of predictable narrative formula. But this post isn’t a critique on the Harry Potter franchise. It is the result of a powerful emotional response to the final scene in the last movie of the series, a response so sudden and overdramatic that it drove my brother to fits of giggles. Only fitting that a film franchise that left me with little emotional immersion would save its most fitting performance for last.

It was the shining star that guided me to demoting The Deathly Hallows Part 2 to an instant 1/10. Also, huge spoilers ahead. (more…)