An Ode to shoe0nhead

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lowercase letters because a e s t h e t i c.

some history:

i first discovered shoe upon reading an encyclopedia dramatica article on boxxy, with whom shoe has been compared to heavily upon establishing herself within the internet world. (there is no longer any connection to shoe on boxxy’s article.) at that point she only had a few youtube videos up, the latest (from what i recall) being “the social justice league vs. gamers.” “oppression olympics,” which would become her rise to internet stardom, along with the aforementioned video, were poignant among the then rise of the gamergate controversy, which caused an internet shitstorm decrying journalist corruption on one side and misogyny on the other. seeing as i was passionately for the side of journalistic reform, it was nice to have someone to latch onto to reaffirm my own opinion, as the only place that did otherwise (from my list of follows at the time) was the aforementioned encyclopedia dramatica (but its hard to take them seriously in most cases). (more…)

I Don’t Watch Any Ani-tubers


I like video games. That’s why many of my subscriptions on Youtube are to those who deal with video games. I like films. That’s why many some of my subscriptions on Youtube are to those who deal with films. I like anime. I don’t watch any ani-tubers. Wait, why is that?

Thinking about it earlier today, I found it somewhat odd that I never latched onto any particular person on Youtube who does anime-type reviews or videos. At least, I don’t now, seeing as none of my subscriptions deal with anime in any capacity other than references (or adaptations based on video games). So I thought about it a little more, while also browsing Youtube for a short while, and I’ve come to document my thoughts on why I think I’m not taken by any particular ani-tuber at large, and why I may never be. But first, a little history between me and ani-tubers. (more…)

An Ode to Vinesauce

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For those unaware: no, that is not the 1-Up Mushroom.

This is the Vinesauce mushroom, the icon for a team of video game streamers since somewhere back in 2012. Founded by a lone jabroni by the name of Vinny, it eventually took off with the rise of Twitch as a collective online pastime. Of course, Vinesauce isn’t just a team of video game streamers. The group is most notable for their variety of game-breaking shenanigans, corruptions, and highlighting of fan-made games which, inadvertent or not, capitalized on the meme-y nature of online interactions. Vinesauce, as a whole, is more of a collection of normal people trying to make ends meet, surrounded by fans wanting to see shit hit the ceiling.

While some members have come and gone, the current team consists of its founder, Vinny; Joel, Mentaljen, Rev, KY, Limes, Imakuni, Direboar, Potato (or Darren), Hootey, and Fred. Some are more popular with viewers than others (some garner three to six-thousand viewers a night while most others barely top a thousand), but all play a part in making the Vinesauce community what it is—a friendly, albeit obnoxiously chaotic collection of dedicated fans. This becomes more prominent once a year, during the annual Vinesauce Charity Stream.

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Depending on the individual streamer, the selection of games vary dramatically, as every streamer is interested in different things and have their own schedules to adhere to. Vinny, Fred, Direboar, and Limes tend to stream most days in the week, while the rest are prone to sporadic absences. Aside from Vinny, who tries to keep a balance of serious and non-serious games, the rest of the aforementioned named are pretty apt to sticking with one game, usually serious, from beginning to end. Debatably, this type of streaming is likely why they aren’t as prominently known, but their dedication to their schedules and their personalities are the tools which help them succeed. Those who have yet to be mentioned in this paragraph are those who stream only semi-often (or rarely), with Joel being the one singled out for his tendency to create new memes with every stream (some of which are featured on channels such as SiIvaGunner).

Description overload out of the way, my personal experience with Vinesauce dates back to early 2014(?) when my brother introduced me to a certain video. Marathoning a number of related videos later, I was officially “onboard” the Vinesauce hype train. At that time, I was only aware of Vinny and Joel, completely unaware of the collection of other streamers which stream under the Vinesauce name. When I finally found out that it was more than just two people, and that they had their own functioning website dedicated to them, I was quick to peruse the merchandise.

I have experience with every single streamer on the site, but to absurdly different degrees. Vinny is far and away the streamer I watch most often, even now when my schedule is much tighter than before, while I’ve only spent a single stream with MentalJen, Rev, and KY; none of those lasted more than ten minutes or so. This isn’t to say I don’t like the streamers themselves, but their selection of games and infrequent streaming isn’t of huge interest to invest my time into. Some streamers can carry through an uninteresting game through character alone (Joel, Hootey, Imakuni), although the perfect blend of interesting games and enthusiasm is what makes for an effective and immersive streaming experience. Vinny is normally very good at this, as well as Joel and Limes. Frequency is the issue at hand for every streamer, too, as like any aspect of life, people can have off days.

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Vinesauce is also to thank for a variety of different purchases—and to some extent, revival of interest—of video games in my lifetime. I first learned of Axiom Verge during a Vinny stream. I bought Rollercoaster Tycoon 2 on a whim after seeing Joel fuck it up on-stream. Similarly with Fred and Megaman & Bass (except he was just losing a lot). These are but a few examples after years of watching the Vinesauce team. Who would have thought that all one needed to regain their interest in video games was to see one having fun with video games? And the creativity (and memeness) that goes into a variety of fan-made projects is so tempting to do for myself (except I have no motivation or time). It would make sense that my favorite streams of all time were both from Vinny, playing Sonic Dreams Collection and the Super Mario Bros. X Contest.

Yet the memeness of the team isn’t necessarily the only enjoyable aspect. The manner at which streamers continue through a game one at a time can be gratifying in and of itself, to be able to experience the journey with them. I recall being bored one night sometime in 2015, when I saw Darren streaming Dragon Quest VIII(?). I popped in there and spent the next few hours talking with members of the chat, with the occasional comment to Darren, and watching as he ground for experience and struggled with some casino game. To this day, it was one of the most enjoyable streams I’ve ever been a part of, simply because the chat was quiet (which is a rare feat, let me tell you!), the content was interesting, Darren was charming, and I felt I was part of the collective experience. That sort of ultimate immersiveness is what I live for when watching someone stream. It’s always fun to watch someone react wildly to crazy things onscreen, but it’s the little things, like a streamer acknowledging your question/comment, the passive lethargy of video game intake, and being able to be a part of the streaming process without being lost in the sea of “LOL’s” after a funny incident that lead to truly memorable pastimes. I really enjoyed Vinny’s recent playthrough of Final Fantasy VII and Darren’s playthrough of Final Fantasy IX because of this.

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Due to my former job requiring me to turn in early, I didn’t end up watching many streams during the latter part of 2016 and early parts of 2017. For a time, I thought my interest in watching the members stream live had passed, that was until just a couple weeks ago, when Vinny and Imakuni joined forces to play Sonic 3 & Knuckles, which was such a wonderful stream that I’m kicking myself for not being able to watch the entire thing. Their chemistry was fantastic, and Imakuni’s knowledge of the franchise compared to Vinny’s complete ignorance was such a treat to watch play out as the stages continued. Once again, my interest in the Vinesauce brand was reignited with the aid of a single stream; how mystifying that it can happen that way. As a side note, I would absolutely recommend one watch the highlight video of their collaboration.

I don’t watch many people stream, at least not anymore, but Vinesauce has been a constant in the last three to four years of my life. Should I be privileged with riches beyond my imagination, I would gladly support every member without a second thought. The team has brought such a wide array of fond memories that I feel almost indebted to them, yet I do not have the means to compensate them. All I can do is continue to watch, share, and write giant “Ode” posts such as this one, singing praise and sharing personal stories. Vinesauce means a lot to me, not just because it pertains to a major interest of mine, but because the people who inhabit it seem like good people capable of good things. For that alone, I would recommend it to any fan of video games in general.

Top 10 Most Impactful Games of My Childhood [REDUX]


A little over three years ago, I made a list of the top ten most impactful games of my childhood. Looking back on it now, some of the game I originally chose are outdated, and upon further consideration aren’t as impactful to me as some others. This re-proposal aims to more accurately cement the games that made my childhood amazing, with an updated touch (because let’s face it, the old list looks bland). To save some time (and avoid reaffirming what’s already been established by the old list), a lot of recurring games will have the same notes attached as before, aside from perhaps some minor edits. That being said, I shall begin with the opening to the first list:

When I came out of my mother’s womb, it wasn’t exactly a clear cut choice for what I would do for the first thirteen years of my life. Growing up in a small trailer for the first five years, and then moving to my current location, I had a whole lot of options. I could have played sports. I could have been an artist. I loved to draw and my imagination served me well all throughout my childhood. I could have wasted my entire life away playing with action figures and toy cars. Despite all of these alternative possibilities, the one thing I did ever since my childhood, all the way up into my life as of now, was play video games.

I started young; very young. At one point, I was told that I picked up my first controller at the age of three. Of course, my mind isn’t strong enough to remember the exact age of my first time playing the Super Nintendo, but old video tapes show evidence that it was before the age of five. Thinking back to it, I remember always watching my father play games such as Super Mario World, Donkey Kong Country, and Megaman 7; waiting until I got the chance to take on the classics for myself. I recall Donkey Kong Country 3 being the first game I ever played (though my father claims it was the first). I also recall defeating Bowser in Super Mario World, a shining moment from my childhood. All of these memories, all of these games, everything played a part in what made my childhood so enamoring. With that said, I would like to share my memories with the public, with my own personal list of games that made my childhood full of wonder.

A quick disclaimer beforehand, this list is not exactly a display of the greatest games of all-time. Keep in mind that I did not play every video game ever. There are a lot of games that you would expect to be on this list, but aren’t, simply because I either didn’t find them very influential or I just never played them as a child. Here’s a quick run-down of such games:

All Legend of Zelda titles, Super Mario 64, Donkey Kong 64, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, Banjo & Kazooie, Resident Evil 4, Super Metroid, F-Zero, etc.

I would also like to clarify a couple of requirements each game had to meet in order to make the list.

  • I had to have played the game before August 20th, 2006 (My 13th birthday).
  • The game had to have had an impact on me as a child, and continues to have an impact on me as an adult.
  • I have to remember playing the game, even though this may directly tie into the second requirement.

#10: Mega Man X: Command Mission

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Mega Man X: Command Mission is one of those spin-off games that seemed to have more impact on me as a child than the original series did. I’m not sure if this is sad and wasted effort or just sad. Regardless, I can’t rewrite my past. I first got my hands on Command Mission around the time it was released at the end of 2004. I got it from Best Buy as somewhat of an impulse buy. Did I regret it? Not a single bit. I loved the RPG style the game presented and it made me consider the possibilities of more RPG-styled Mega Man X games in the future. Did I ever get it? No. Despite the generally low critic consensus of the game (~68% on GameRankings and Metacritic), I thought the game was an absolute goldmine of possibilities. The attack system, the upgrades, the transformations, the character designs; it was a spectacular game for those willing to immerse themselves within it. The only major complaint I have with the game is the voice acting. Good gracious, the voice acting (in English) is absolutely atrocious. Even as a stupid kid, I made fun of their tired voices. But even that made it more memorable for me.

Playing the game again within the last year, the game definitely hasn’t aged all that well. While the gameplay mechanics work and the exploration is a little more than basic, characters and level design are little more than archetypal. Not to mention, chapters, outside of a few cutscenes and surprise attacks, are amusingly short, and vary in overall creativity. The lackluster critic scores are a lot more understandable upon a clear playthrough, though I feel the game has more worth than others rated higher. I’m likely biased.

I never beat this game as a child, only getting to chapter six of ten. Playing this as an adult, I flew through it like butter. Perhaps I didn’t really understand what I was doing as a child, because this game is fairly simple. Why am I bringing this up? Another aspect of the game that I remember: the hiatus. While this has nothing to do with the game within the disc, it involves the existence of the game itself. After failing to get past the sixth chapter, I went on to not play the game… for a long time. When I finally got around to wanting to play it again, after so many months, it was gone. I had suddenly lost it. I wouldn’t find the game again until I was far past the age of thirteen. That’s part of the impact this game had on me as a child: the mystery of not knowing what comes next. I never looked up how to get past any part of the game or what happens after the part I initially stopped at. I never found out what happened… as a child. For a long while, I had to fill in the blanks myself, but I would never really know until years had gone by. As an already great game within my mind, Command Mission also became “the lost game,” if you will. And that was enough to help it make this list.

#9: Star Wars: Episode I Racer

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This game is an interesting choice, since I’m fairly certain that this game is one of the most repetitive games in my collection. Why does this game get so much love? Simple: it was amazingly fun. How fun was it? I preferred to play this game as a child over Starfox 64, Mario Party, Pokémon Snap, Pokémon Stadium, and Lego Racer. That’s quite the line-up. What made it so fun? Now, that question is tricky, because it’s probably full of bias. But this is my own personal list of games that had an impact on me. One thing you must know about me is that I am a gigantic fan of Star Wars. This game came out shortly after Star Wars: Episode I. Guess who had just seen the movie before purchasing the game? So, to put it simply, why did I love this game so much? Because it expanded upon one of my all-time favorite movies as a child (shut up) and my all-time favorite scene from that movie (shut up).

Star Wars Episode I: Racer is a game where you race in machines called pod racers. You can choose from a wide variety of made-up alien races that were made specifically for the game, including Sebulba (most need to be unlocked, however). The game also has a variety of courses to choose from (twenty-eight in all, if I remember correctly) that have a specific character who has an advantage on said course. By winning these courses (or beating the favorite), you unlock a specified amount of money to spend on upgrades to your vehicle and the chance to play as the character whom you had beaten from that course. Simply spending time choosing the right parts to upgrade my vehicles and gazing upon the strange creatures that I could choose from, my childhood mind could hardly contain itself. This game inspired a wide variety of fan-made drawings (that I still never kept) and all sorts of imaginative outside gameplay. Not to mention, anything with the name “Star Wars” pasted on it was sure to get my attention. But in this case, it was both a “Star Wars” game and a genuinely entertaining one at that. A gem of a game with hardly any recognition (except a Player’s Choice sticker).

And much like Mega Man X: Command Mission, this game lost a lot of its luster upon recent playthroughs, as the game is, as mentioned above, fairly repetitive. You race, you win, you upgrade, you repeat. After about three or four hours, the game’s done, and you have nothing left to do.

#8: Donkey Kong Country 3

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Ah, yes. The game that, from my limited memory, introduced me to video games. Thinking back on it, why didn’t this game make the original list? It made the runner-up list, but what kind of drugs was I on to put Starfox 64, a game that I really liked, but was outshined by a number of other games on the same console, make it over the “first”? Regardless, that error has been corrected, as Donkey Kong Country 3 was one of the most magical experiences of my younger life.

This game may have influenced my affinity for cartoon graphics, quite honestly. I remember being (and still am to a degree) amazed by the way the game looks. Its design still looks great today! The technique of converting 3D models into a 2D space worked wonderfully and helped craft the Country series’s distinction from other Nintendo classics. Outside of flashy visuals, the game has a wonderfully spastic atmosphere that accurately presents the weight of each level. Design is on-point, with levels being fun (and somewhat challenging later on) from beginning to end, despite some levels’ degree of one-dimensional gimmicks.

As a child, this game blew my mind. If not for perhaps Super Mario World, I’d probably dub this the greatest game I had ever played by the time I was eight. One question that may come to mind is, “If this game was so astounding to you, why is it not higher on the list?” Back then, I kind of naturally associated every Country game with one another, making them all blend together in a disjointed collection of one giant game. So while the third entry stuck out the most, the memory of the first and second games also filter the impact it had on me. I can’t help but think of every Donkey Kong Country game whenever Donkey Kong Country comes to mind. Except the new ones. Those may as well not exist.

#7: Glover

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When you’re published by Hasbro, you’d think you’d get a little more attention. From the company that brought you My Little Pony comes a 1998 one-off game franchise called Glover. Obviously inspired by Super Mario 64, the game is an open world platformer/puzzle hybrid, complete with hub world, distinct areas with stages leading up to a boss encounter, and collectible items scattered throughout. Everything about this game screams “Bargain bin rip-off,” yet somehow it managed to become one of the most quotable and charming games of my life, whether childhood or adulthood.

To some extent, the “bargain bin” moniker is appropriate, as nothing about this game really stands out to make it an amazing experience. At best, the game is passable entertainment with a penchant for shoehorning in one distinct shtick: ball-handling. Within Glover, the goal is to make it from one end of the stage to the other, and you cannot do that without carrying around a shiny ball capable of weak magical abilities. As is appropriate when playing a game whose main character is the (implied) disembodied hand of a wizard, the player’s maneuvers are predicated on the physical capabilities of a hand. You bounce the ball, slap the ball, point at the ball, shoot spells at the ball to change its shape, and jump on the ball. This game is pretty odd.

Its oddity might be what makes the game so memorably impactful. What it lacks in quality controls and graphics it makes up for with silly creativity. Just look at the game itself! You play as a glove carrying a ball around carnivals and flying pirate ships and different planets in pursuit of crystals used to power a wizard’s castle, which have all been turned into bouncy balls that wandered into alternate dimensions. Not to mention, the wizard’s other hand was dropped into a magical concoction and turned it evil, serving as the main antagonist of the game. What the fuck?! This is the kind of thing I miss about the olden days of video games. Things didn’t have to be serious, and the more colorful and bizarre a game was, the more appealing it became to me. Glover is not a game with objectively fantastic hardware or design. It is a game meant to embody the spirit of having fun, something I feel it does better than most. That’s what makes the game so wonderfully memorable to me, both now and when I first played it some seventeen years ago.

#6: Super Mario Sunshine

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Super Mario 64 didn’t make the list. Super Mario World didn’t make the list. Super Mario Bros. 3 didn’t make the list. Super Mario Sunshine makes the list. My opinion must be invalid.

Let me explain, I never played Super Mario 64 or Super Mario Bros. 3. I played Super Mario World as a young boy, and perhaps it should’ve made the list. However, I have more memories of the first world and the final fight with Bowser than anything else, which leaves a big chunk of the game void in my mind. Super Mario Sunshine came at the exact right time, at the time I was nine. A lot of complaints about the game seem to be based on direct comparisons to Super Mario 64, but I don’t think that’s ultimately fair. Sure, with another game in a long line of legendary games, comparisons should be expected, but to compare every aspect of one game to another and base your opinion solely on that seems illogical to me. As a child, I never compared anything. I simply played the game as it was and had no thoughts as to what came before. It was a beautiful time for gaming.

Super Mario Sunshine had one of the most engaging and bizarre plots I had ever seen in a game up to that point. Cleaning up graffiti? Super Mario! It seems more like a plot for a game starring Mr. Clean. Regardless, the game had a certain quality of color and pizzazz that made it work for me. The bonus stages were difficult, but fun. F.L.U.D.D. was one of the most helpful tools in any game ever, and I very much appreciated that it didn’t talk as much as it could have. Despite what is essentially a burden to children everywhere, cleaning up the mess of monstrous goop within the game was one of the most exhilarating times I’ve ever had playing a Mario game, or any game, in my entire lifetime.

#5: Vigilante 8: 2nd Offense

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This is a statement I will defend to the death if I must: Vigilante 8: 2nd Offense is the most underrated game for the Nintendo 64.

What’s Vigilante 8: 2nd Offense? That’s a question I hear all the time whenever I discuss the game with fellow gamers. And why would they have heard of it? They were too busy playing Twisted Metal. However, I, as a good ol’ christian boy, played the much more appropriate Vigilante 8: 2nd Offense. This game is still regarded as one of my all-time favorite games and is a regular play. While the game certainly has its flaws (sound effects, realistic motion control), the effort and care put into the game has been apparent to me ever since I was a child. The plot is interesting, the characters are creative to the point of parody, and their vehicles are reminiscent of decades past. The features included in this game are enough to make people want to play this game forever, and the fun only quadruples with the multiplayer mode.

The Quest Mode paints a picture for what the series is all about. Each character has their own individual style of play that ties into the giant story of Vigilante 8. They have their own motives and their own travels, depending on their alignment in the game. In each stage, there are little side quests that one must do in order to fully complete the quest at hand, which includes unlocking new characters. The amount of weapons and abilities and characters and vehicles and features and stages and plot twists prevalent within this game are simply perfect, if not minimalistic. Could there be more characters? More vehicles? More side quests? Absolutely. But it still makes itself a very solid game with a lot to offer, despite what little it has. Vigilante 8: 2nd Offense isn’t just the fifth most impactful game of my childhood, it’s one of my all-time favorite games on the Nintendo 64, and a top ten favorite game of all-time.

#4: Metroid Prime


Fun fact: Once upon a time, I witnessed a game being played in front of me called Super Smash Bros. It was at my cousin’s house. While playing that game, I would always be one character, who would continue to be my all-time favorite video game character up until Metroid: Other M (but that game never happened). Her name was Samus Aran. So, what do you think my mindset was like when I came over to my cousin’s house one day only to find that Samus Aran had a new independent game called Metroid Prime? If your answer consisted of anything similar to “orgasmic,” you would be correct. Another fun fact: I initially was hesitant to play the game after witnessing my cousin die multiple times during the game. Why? I was scared of death at one point. I would never want to play a game that involved the main character dying in first person, as it would give me the impression that I was the one who would face their ultimate demise.

It didn’t stop there, however, as even when I owned the game myself, I was still scared of certain aspects of the game. Two prime (heh) examples: the Armored Beetle and Chozo Ghosts. I don’t know what is was with Armored Beetles, but it was one of the things that killed my cousin in battle. I guess that had affected my sub-conscious. But Chozo Ghosts? Those are genuinely frightening. You can’t see them, they can appear wherever they want, they exude these sounds that could very well have originated from a horror flick, and the light in the area dims whenever they appear (I was once afraid of the dark). Those things were nightmare fuel for me as a child. While not as traumatizing to me as a child, the Metroid Research Center in Phendrana Drifts has one of the most genuinely creepy atmospheres in all of Nintendo’s classics. It’s one of the best parts of the game.

But all of this, along with a genuinely engaging plot, and gameplay, plays into the impact this game had on me as a child. This game solidified Samus as my all-time favorite video game character and gave me a game to base it off of. This game made me genuinely fear what Nintendo was capable of in storytelling. All of the features present in the game, all of the creatures, and the fact that you can scan and gain information on them is astounding! Your scan visor is one of the most ingenious decisions I’ve ever seen in gaming history. In Metroid Prime, there is no dialogue. None. So what can you make of the story? Based on the events that happen and whatever your scan visor can pick up from ancient relics. This gives the player all the more reason to get immersed into the story of the game, because it’s never explained. They have to put the pieces together themselves. Why is this game so influential to me? Because it improved my subtlety as a creative writer. It taught me that foreshadowing and symbolism is one of the most engaging types of writing in all of storytelling, whether it be in a novel or a video game. Metroid Prime isn’t just a fun game to play, it’s an innovative work of art in storytelling.

#3: Soul Calibur II

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Soul Calibur II is a game that I’ve been playing ever since I first got it. The characters. The story. The Weapon Master mode. Everything about this game is so unbelievably memorable and interesting. This is one of the only games that has influenced me to actually go into the options setting just to see what else I could find. Even the special features are interesting. The artist renditions of these characters are interesting. Everything about this game is so interesting it just makes my head explode just thinking about it! The opening, the music, the characters’ movesets, the characters’ variety of weapons, everything. It’s all interesting, and vastly entertaining.

What made this game better? I had it for the Nintendo Gamecube. So, the guest character with the game is the only guest character from a Soul Calibur series game I’ve ever approved of: Link. I had first encountered this game at Family Video, a hot-spot for video games during my childhood. I saw Link on the cover case and immediately wanted it, so we rented it for a couple days. I fell in love. Link is perfect for this game! The sword and shield, and the already wide variety of items he collects inside each Legend of Zelda game, this was a genius choice. It added a magical Nintendo touch to the game that has lasted up until this point, and probably will forever.

The fighting aspect of the game takes a lot of strategizing and manipulation of the opponent’s mindset to completely master, and each character has their own weaknesses and strengths. All of the vivid little details put into this game make it a creative plethora of ideas and innovation. Even Necrid is a personal favorite of mine, and he doesn’t even make it past this game. The only real issue I have with this game is that once you complete Weapon Master mode, it just becomes like an arcade game, and arcade games are only fun in short, sporadic spans of time. Regardless, this game is a personal favorite and has continued to be a topic of interest whenever the issue of good fighting games arise.

#2: Custom Robo

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Custom Robo is a game that I had initially heard about after playing a demo at Toys ‘R Us. I was so immersed with that demo… it was one of the only times that a demo had such an adverse effect on my desire to purchase a game. The creative designs, the weapons, the colors, the gameplay, it was perfect. It was all perfect to me. My creative juices were flowing like the Nile after playing that game, and I had to have it when it came out a few weeks later. After picking it up from Family Video, I played it for about five straight hours. It was unlike anything I’ve ever played. The characters’ personalities, their designs, their names, the plot, the robos, the area, the map, the humor, Oh! The humor! Everything about this game was wild and colorful and it just fit. If Custom Robo were a puzzle piece, it would fit right into my brain as if it were its home. This game speaks to all of my individual interests as a human being and it only did so much to appease me.

When I finally finished the game, I craved it. I craved more, so much more. It wasn’t enough. I literally got depressed after beating the game and saying goodbye to all of the characters in front of me. I waited, I waited so long for a viable sequel, but I never got one. Custom Robo is the only thing I got in terms of its world, its universe, its characters. Custom Robo has so much potential to be something more, something amazing, something legendary. If only they would give it a second chance. It’s times like these you learn to live again that I want to be a game designer. To be able to gain the rights to work on the games that made my childhood beautiful, that made it worth living. Custom Robo is one of those games that have such an essential place in my heart that no amount of criticism, insults, or debauchery could ever have my view the game any less than wonderfully imperfect. It’s replayability and creativity are some of the strongest I’ve ever experienced playing any game in my entire life. All of this for a game that no one has ever heard of.

Funny how passionate I was for this game three years ago. It’s a decent game, but I more than acknowledge the flaws that this game has. Most of what I’ve said still holds up, though without all the passion I once had in my “youth.” I would gladly recommend it to anyone looking for a fun experience, and hope it can give the same impact it had (and has) on me.

#1: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

paper mario ttyd 1

Fun fact: Running around at Family Video as a child, I encountered a lot of games in my life. But I only chose certain games to take home to play. Some lasted a while, some didn’t. Some would last the rest of my life. Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door was a game that I spent the absolute most time with after renting from Family Video. I rented it for two days. I spent approximately half of that playing the game. Roughly twelve hours a day, from the moment I woke up to the minute I went to bed, with bathroom and food breaks in between. With all of that time poured into the game, I made it to chapter four, where I could not for the life of me figure out how to acquire Doopliss’s name. It was the first time I ever searched “Gamefaqs” in the search bar. It was the first time I ever used outside sources to find out how to advance farther in a game. By the time I had defeated Doopliss and made my way into chapter five, it was time to return the game. I would not play Thousand-Year Door again for years.

Have I ever mentioned that RPG’s are my favorite type of genre in video games? That might be because of Thousand-Year Door. Remember my statement for Mega Man X: Command Mission about it being the “lost game”? It’s the same here, except multiplied by a thousand. I had every chance to play Command Mission after getting stuck on the sixth chapter, I just chose not to do it. After I returned Thousand-Year Door, I didn’t play it again for years. I never owned it, and for some reason, I would never get it for my birthday or Christmas. I had no income to purchase it, and my mother wasn’t exactly one to frantically spend money. I was stuck with what I got during special occasions, and that lasted well into my teenage years. The mystery of what happened after chapter five in Thousand-Year Door haunted me for a long time afterwards. The fact that such a long time had passed since I played the game made me more and more anxious to play the game, and that lasted even after I played the game. That growing anticipation was prevalent up until the point I finally got my hands on it again.

However, what Command Mission didn’t have in replayability and design, Thousand-Year Door made up for tenfold. Not only did I have to bottle my emotions for years waiting to complete the game, it’s also one of the most beautifully presented games I’ve ever played. The types of things that you have to do in order to advance in the game are things I would have never conceived. They really take advantage of Mario’s paper abilities and craft them into the game like a work of art. The graphics are also so simplistic, yet so creatively vivid. It’s one of those “easy on the eyes” games that enhance the quality of artwork through minimalistic designs. It’s truly breath-taking. Every character is likable. Every chapter is brimmed with creativity and interesting plotlines (with the addition of repetitive fetch quests). These chapters range from outstandingly immersive (Chapter 1) to irritatingly memorable (Chapter 2). All emotions are exuded while playing this game. It’s really a complete package. Everything and anything can be achieved while playing this game, it’s all a matter of how you choose to see it. This is truly the epitome of influential games in my opinion, and stands as one of the most memorable games of my childhood, and of all-time.

Honorable Mentions: Pokémon SilverMario Party/Mario Party 4Dragon Ball Z: Budokai 2Mega Man 7, Tony Hawk’s UndergroundSuper Mario Bros. Deluxe.

My Day In Gaming – January 19th, 2017


Here’s something a little different.

In this post—and any post like it, should I continue with it—I will detail the accounts of my gaming in any individual day, whether it be progress reports, general thoughts, or the primary intention behind the creation of this post: sharing humorous stories. I feel a lot goes unsaid with video games, especially when talking of it online. There are a lot of strange moments to be had when gaming, whether it be due to a game’s glitchiness or a perfect “Right place at the right time” sequence that produces a hilarious outcome. I felt, in-between the constant focus of reviewing and critiquing almost everything I decide to write on, that I could relax myself a bit, invite people to join me around the campfire, and share some of my personal stories with a pastime I’ve had since long before the internet’s boom in accessibility. I realize not everyone will understand some of the things I have to say, so I’ll do my best to make every situation clear and have the context be resolute.

For the rest of this post, I will be organizing said stories and impressions based on the game I was playing at the time.

Metroid Prime


I wrote a post about this game a couple days ago for those wanting some more juicy description as to why I adore the game so much, but early this morning, I beat the game for the fourth(?) time within my lifetime. I find it fascinating how I always seem to drift back to this game whenever I feel in the mood to play something fun and impressionable. Doubly so knowing of my own quest to cement a certain game as my all-time favorite, something I’ve been trying to discover for years now. With my most recent playthrough, Metroid Prime is in a comfortable spot, seeing as other contenders such as Custom Robo and Paper Mario: TTYD proved to be less than stellar after recent replays. Still, games such as Soul Calibur IIVigilante 8: 2nd OffenseSuper Mario Sunshine, and Glover need to be tested before I crown any one game winner.

I will comment on some ironic twist of fate, as while Metroid Prime‘s opening sequence is little short of brilliant, its ending area and boss fight are incredibly lackluster. The final area, the Impact Crater, is only five rooms long, not including the Missile Recharge Station. Only one room among these five rooms will last more than a minute to get through, either. While the beginning had a slow, but gradual build-up of suspense and intrigue, the Impact Crater has one of the most irritating enemies in the game in the form of Fission Metroids, Metroids capable of splitting into two and are only susceptible to certain beam weapons (And Power Bombs, thankfully). They inhabit one huge, empty room with little to take in. It feels more like a placeholder area for game testing than anything, with not a lot of narrative intrigue or need to use many accessories.

And the final boss? Should one know what they’re doing, the final boss is a pushover. Sure, knowing the game makes most bosses easy, but there are a few, such as Meta Ridley or the Omega Pirate, while easy to analyze their weak spot, make that weak spot hard to access. The final boss shoves it front and center, and its second form (because no Japanese game can go without another form) is essentially a waiting game. It doesn’t have that epic feel that the designers were going for, and is a far-cry to what the game could’ve accomplished with some finer tweaking. Still, this doesn’t soil so much as it does dull the experience near the end, as the game is still a very solid experience regardless.

Animal Crossing


On the complete opposite spectrum of Metroid PrimeAnimal Crossing gives me that escape whenever I’m not in the mood to play something that requires a level of efficiency and attention to gameplay. A fun little slice-of-life-esque game about living life and updating a town only a villager knows how.

I’ve been playing Animal Crossing for about fifteen years now, dating back to when I first got the game around 2002. That isn’t to say I’ve had the same file since 2002, but I recently started up another town to relive the memories of my younger days. As a kid, I liked to dub myself the “Fish Master,” as I always loved to fish, no matter what. I would fish in my spare time and fish quite often, selling them to Tom Nook for about 1,000,000 bells (The game’s currency) at a time. No matter how much I fished, unfortunately, there was always one fish that alluded me: the Stringfish! A rare fish that never seemed to want to show itself to me. Even worse, my brother caught one! I was the Fish Master and he caught the one fish I was missing! Years would pass, and I never caught that accursed fish. All these years and I could never find it. Not even once.

Today, I booted up the game and time traveled backwards because I forgot to turn on the lighthouse the night prior (Optional sidequest). After turning it on, I made my way up the town’s acres, walking along the river in case anything of interest caught my eye. Something did, as a large shadow loomed in the middle of the river around Acre D-4. “I swear to God, if this is a tire,” I said to myself as I got my fishing rod out and cast the lure right in front of the shadow’s face. It went for it immediately, hooking onto the lure on the first nibble. I managed to reel it in, with the time signifying that it wasn’t a tire. Once the reeling process was complete, the fish turned out to be…

A Stringfish.

I laughed, laughed to the depths of my soul, for I had finally caught the one fish that had alluded me for so many years, that I had meticulously hunted until my will had broken into two. It was a momentous occasion and an ironic one, with the sound of my laughter filling the quiet basement around me, my brother (the one who had caught it) laughing with me. I time traveled for the sole purpose of turning on the lighthouse, and here I was avenging my younger self for the time wasted searching for it. Mirthful and satisfied, I continued to walk up the acres. With just one square north, wouldn’t you know, another large shadow! “This one looks pretty big, too,” I said aloud. I cast my rod, getting it just out of sight of the shadow. I reeled in and cast again, this time getting it close enough to fetch the shadow’s attention. This one was a little more hesitant, taking three or four bites before sinking the lure. I managed to successfully catch the fish, and with the time spent reeling signifying again that it wasn’t a tire, the fishing Gods smiled down at me warmly. As if making up for the time I had spent years before, while also giggling mischievously at the absurd odds of what was to come, the fish turned out to be…

Another Stringfish.

Tales of Zestiria


Whoa, dude! Isn’t this a currently-airing anime? It is! And I just so happened to get my hands on a copy of the game it was based on for the PS4! I wasn’t even aware it had an anime, either. Must’ve been why I looked at the title and thought, “Damn, why this look so f-a-m-i-l-i-a-r?” Helping to buy a PS4 for the family just last Christmas, I needed something to add to the collection, so that I wasn’t just using the console as a paperweight. Tales of Zestiria, it is!

It kinda blows. I mean, technically, there doesn’t seem to be much wrong with the game on its own, but there are a lot of little nitpicks here and there that make the game hard to even sit through. First of all, the dialogue is incredibly cheesy. Some of the most cliché and predictable sentences come out of every character’s mouth. Secondly, the facial structure of the characters hardly move, so a lot of the dialogue with added feeling, such as anticipation, fear, irritation, or loneliness are met with a stone-faced, ever-blinking character model. It looks horribly unnatural. Thirdly, and I may have gone into some detail with this before, but I really can’t stand most English voice actors for Japanese-based games/anime. It sounds unnatural to me, for English actors to voice lines that may not be intended to be voiced in the way they perceive it. Not to mention, I feel the voice acting in the game overall is mediocre. Whether it be the case of overemphasizing or underemphasizing, each line or three are delivered with a sense of forced bravado or aloofness that supposedly suits the character, I guess? I also don’t find the combat all that entertaining. You’re essentially hammering a single button with directional combinations, then guarding when the sequence is through. (Or just keep hammering it down. Whatever works!)

Of course, I’m only an hour into the game, so as the game goes along, perhaps the combat and story will improve to some extent. As the saying goes, unfortunately, the beginning is only a precursor to more of the same. I won’t keep my hopes up, but I’m expecting to have some guilty fun out of it, whether it be being immersed in the story or making fun of it.

Metroid Prime 2: Echoes


You didn’t think I’d just stop with the first game, did you? Heavens, no. I plan to play each game and find out where they fare when compared to my favorite games ever, as they do have some nostalgic value to them, as well. However, Metroid Prime 2 is a game I never actually finished in its entirety, only getting as far as the second main area or so before quitting to watch my brother finish the rest. Funny story: I get too involved with watching others play the same game to finish the game myself, as I feel if I play the game too soon after watching someone else play it, I won’t enjoy it as much. I ended up waiting about ten years after he completed it to continue.

This is a story, however, as I’m not too far into this game, either. I was playing the game at a brisk pace, somewhat struggling to remember what exactly to do in each room. I had gotten to a room within the opening area where I first discovered a creature called a Green Kralee. As I always do, I scanned the creature first to read up on its data and weakpoints before destroying it. I had gotten about one sentence into scrolling through the text when, within the blink of an eye, the TV screen went black. The TV didn’t randomly shut off. The power didn’t go out. I never clicked any button to reset the game. The TV remotes were untouched upon the room’s coffee table. The screen just went blank for seemingly no reason.

With two of my brothers in attendance, I slowly looked over at one of them, dumbfounded, as he looked back at me with a nervous smile. Just as he was about to say something, the TV lit up again. On the screen was the Wii’s Youtube browser, showing the front page trending videos. The one that stuck out to me was Trump’s Inauguration Concert. (Why do Presidents need concerts at their Inauguration, anyway?) All three of us immediately start laughing, as the level of “WTF?!” was off the charts. Here I was, enjoying a nice game of “Blow different alien species up,” and the Wii has the gall to take me to Youtube to watch Trump’s Inauguration! It seems his reign will include taking over electronic devices to watch his progress at every turn! Thankfully, my brother picked up the TV remote and set it back to the default source, which immediately brought me back to the data on the Kralee. As if nothing had happened. It was a delightful intermission that reeked of outside sources fucking with my hardware. Though, one of my brothers stated that it may have been his phone taking voice commands for no reason.

That’s all I have this time. Thanks as always for reading and I hope you enjoyed the tales I had to tell today.

I’m (Really) Done with the NFL

Nearly a year ago, I wrote a post documenting my frustration with the inadequacy of the NFL’s referees. In a fit of rage, I made an oath not to watch the NFL for an undetermined amount of time, so long as the NFL didn’t take responsibility for their employers. I cracked under pressure and watched the AFC-NFC Championship games and the Super Bowl soon after. It was almost akin to a child throwing a tantrum because they weren’t getting their way.

Fast forward to present time and with two weeks of action, I haven’t found anything particularly troubling about the state of the refs (though that may depend on what game I’m watching). Even so, there’s something unsatisfying about the entire game in its current state. Perhaps its the media overblowing everything. Norman vs. Beckham. Gurley is the second-coming of Christ. Kaepernick sat during the national anthem and now everyone’s joining in on the fun. It seems the game has become less of a game and more of a circus, a gladiatorial type conglomerate that soothes itself on embellishing itself in drama and glory. It’s too much sometimes, and how I’ve been able to stand it for this long amazes me. I love football as a sport that much, it seems. But it’s getting to the point where it’s not worth the time.

I spend a lot of my free time on football. Not just watching football games, but looking up football history, football stats, watching the NFL Network, playing Madden 12, and researching for my occasional NFL Top 10’s. And this is only with the NFL. I also watch College Football, Canadian Football, Arena Football, and had I the chance to, High School and Indoor Football. The only thing I don’t watch is Lingerie Football! That’s ten hours on Saturdays and Sundays, and an additional three and a half on Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays. That’s thirty hours a week! I don’t even work that much in a week!

I don’t even get much out of football. Just three hours of raw enjoyment and nothing more. I can’t really critique it (outwardly) or make anything out of it as a writer (They want things called “degrees.” Pfft!), and the NFL is pretty strict on their copyrights. It’s something one can only watch and appreciate, assuming the game is actually good. In the long run, I’ve wasted so much time watching games when I could’ve been, ahem, “productive” doing something else. The time when I was writing my picks for weekly games was the least productive my blog had ever been. I was constantly burned out by the pressure of writing long, complicated posts and doing so within a self-reserved deadline. Ever since I stopped doing so, my passion for blogging has increased exponentially. My writing has been more fruitful and my desire to do so at an even pace has (almost) never faltered. I was content watching football on my own time and blogging whenever it was done. But whenever football was concerned, something always took a backseat.

I’ve recently been getting back into video games (Partly due to my own ambition and partly due to my desire to do video game reviews on Youtube). This typically conflicts with a number of things, as video games aren’t something to be enjoyed for short periods of time. Usually, football would always take precedence. In the long run, video games would take less time to indulge in than football, and let’s face it, video games don’t have commercials to hog up that time, too. It’s more beneficial to me, too, as a control-freak and as a reviewer to be able to control the game at my pace and rely on my own to make something out of it. The NFL is big business. It’s controlled like a corporation and advertised like a carnival. After five years of watching, I think I’ve finally gotten over the desire to keep up with it.

This isn’t to say I will never watch (or keep up with) the NFL again. I wouldn’t mind sitting down and watching a game or two every so often, but I’m not going to let it take up nearly as much time as it did in the past. The same can be said for College (Though I care less about College than the NFL). To be “done” with the NFL is slightly exaggerating the point of this entry, but I like harking back to my old, embarrassing posts every once in a while. The point is, I’m not going to be known as “the football fanatic” in my household anymore. I’m moving past that. I may look back sometimes, but I’ll keep moving forward in the meantime.

The Top 10 Most Impactful Games of My Childhood: Honorable Mentions

Either because I simply love writing or crave attention, I’ve decided to include a few of the games from my childhood that didn’t make the initial list, but still served in making my childhood the greatest that it could possibly be. Without further ado, here are three games that, along with the Top 10, had a major impact on my childhood.


11. Pokemon Silver (Released October 14th, 2000) (Game Boy Color)

I didn’t start with Red or Blue. I didn’t start with Yellow. I started with Silver. The first Pokemon game I’ve ever played (that actually follows the main plot line), it opened my eyes to the world of (handheld) pokemon. Truth be told, I knew from the beginning that Pokemon was based off of a video game, but I spent most of my early childhood watching the anime. Again, my parents weren’t exactly frivolous with money, so I never got my hands on many games throughout my early childhood (Pokemon Stadium, Pokemon Snap, Pokemon Silver).

Seeing as I started with Pokemon Silver, the second generation of pokemon mean just as much to be as the first generation. My favorite starting pokemon of all-time is Feraligatr, not Charizard (even though I always preferred Blastoise over Charizard). Since then, I’ve owned Pokemon Yellow, Red, Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, FireRed, LeafGreen, Crystal (on the emulator), Pearl, Diamond, Platinum, SoulSilver, White, and X and Y. So, you can see that it only started a very long chain of pokemon games that have come and gone (I only still have X and Y and Crystal). The thing about pokemon is that aspect of RPG based gaming that I’ve come to adore ever since my early childhood, and in some ways, pokemon began that love (Pokemon Stadium). And all of the pokemon you can come across? It’s spawned a whole generation of fan-made pokemon creations (that I still draw today!). To consider that pokemon still holds such a tight bind on me even at the age of twenty, it’s impressive my wallet doesn’t hate me for making it lonely. Nintendo better appreciate my offerings! Regardless, the innovation of pokemon throughout the years (even though some of the creative touch has lacked in the last few generations) has made such a direct impact on me both creatively and critically. Lavender Town is still one of my favorite tunes. Spooky.


12. Donkey Kong Country 3 (Released November 22nd, 1996) (Super Nintendo)

Oh, boy. Here we go. Debatably the first game I’ve ever played. Donkey Kong Country 3 started my descent into the world of fat, lazy people. I’m not sure it was the right choice. Regardless! This game is (from my experiences) the most looked down upon game in the trilogy of Donkey Kong Country games. I don’t see why, because this one was the most magical for me. Perhaps it was because neither Diddy nor Donkey Kong were even in this game? Perhaps it was because your partner was a baby. Perhaps it was because it’s the exact same game as the second? Who knows. Whatever the case, I loved it all the same.

It provided color, it provided entertainment, most of all, it introduced me to the world of Nintendo (and Rare). Donkey Kong Country 3 had music, flair, memorable enemies and characters, and most of all, fun courses. The amount of effort and energy that is apparent in this game was apparent to me as a child, and is somewhat apparent to me as an adult. The characters, albeit strange, were just as memorable to me as Donkey and Diddy. I grew to love them all the same. The music is something I’d like to talk thoroughly about, because that’s one thing about the game that really stands out to me. The score for this game is one that I will always cherish, specifically the tracks for the underwater and snowy areas. Something about the music that goes with those courses brings a flutter to my heart, and a wiggle to my senses. But it was all aspects of the game that made the game truly unique. The graphics, the gameplay, the music, the controls; everything about this game means so much to me, and I will never forget my times playing it incessantly as a child. My parents must have been tired.

This just in: I was just told by my father that the original Donkey Kong Country was the first game I ever played as a child. Whoops.


13. Super Mario Bros. Deluxe (Released 1999) (Game Boy Color)

Oh. I see. So you put down the Deluxe edition of what is debatably the greatest game of all-time? Yes. Because that’s the version I played as a child. When it wasn’t Pokemon Silver on my Game Boy Color, it was Super Mario Bros. Deluxe. From what I recall, I actually had Super Mario Bros. Deluxe for a much longer time than I had Pokemon Silver. That game, as with most of the games during my childhood, were lost in the battlefield, long ago. Super Mario Bros. Deluxe actually lasted me a good while, until (roughly) 2006, until I finally lost that, too.

Super Mario Bros. Deluxe was essentially just Super Mario Bros., except it also came with bonus features! Y’know what kids love with games? Bonus features. I did. In every level, there were special coins that one had to collect, and even better, hidden yoshi egg blocks. By collecting all of these bonus, hidden materials, the player could unlock special artist renditions and pictures of enemies and characters from the Super Mario Bros. series. I had so much fun trying to find and collect every little thing from every level. It added that initial boost in replayability that made the game fun to play over and over again. Not to mention, it’s one of the greatest games of all-time.

So, think of it like this; the greatest game of all-time with bonus features. All conveniently placed in a little cartridge to be played in a handheld system. Did that blow my mind as a child? No. Because I had no idea of the impact that Super Mario Bros. had on humanity. Does it blow my mind now? Yes. Absolutely. To think that they could take an already legendary game and make it better (in my opinion). That’s dedication to excellence. That’s dedication to their fans. That’s Nintendo, and I love them for it. Now, if only they could stop doing it with all of these New Super Mario Bros. sequels…